I wrote a few weeks back about a trip that my wife and I took to see my son and daughter-in-love in Alaska. The week spent with them traveling around Alaska was amazing, and was filled with lots of laughter, games, great food and conversation. There was one conversation in particular that I have been chewing on that I’d like to touch on because it relates to travel. It’s the topic of gratitude. I find myself amazed as I travel how a foundation of gratitude can be the difference between two people being on the same trip but having entirely different experiences.

As we were driving from Palmer, Alaska to Valdez my son started talking about what “plan” we had for instilling values into the lives of our kids. Specifically he asked about the value we have in our family about gratitude, and how that value seemed to be a core to how we operated. As my wife Onalee and I began to answer, it became clear that we were both saying the same thing: Values are caught, not taught. We can talk about the value of gratitude all we want, and we can create some sort of learning plan, but it actually will be overshadowed by how my wife and I live. Talk is cheap, behavior is louder.

I gave an example to my son about what we have observed at Disneyland numerous times. Here we are, at the “Happiest Place on Earth,” and you will see families where parents are full-on yelling at their kids. There’s screaming, wailing, tears and Micky Mouse ears on top of their heads. If I had only seen this one time, I could call it a fluke…but I’ve seen this over and over again. My comment to my son was this: You can’t spend lives as a family where you never spend intentional, relational time together at home and then magically believe that you will get along well on a family vacation where you’re spending constant time together. This is not how life is meant to be lived. If we want positive values to be lived on vacation, then they have to be cultivated at home.

That’s the challenge with gratitude as a value. Gratitude is lived out in lives that don’t believe that the world owes me. It sees life as a gift, and that anything great that happens is something to be celebrated and enjoyed. It is cultivated by taking pleasure in small things, and also celebrating when others have something great happen to them. It rejects jealousy because jealousy is a cancerous infection.

That’s part of the reason I “pack” gratitude for my travels. It is a powerful tool that transforms life on the road. Gratitude is how I approach airline employees, hotel attendants, wait staff at restaurants, tour guides and even shop owners. I thank them with sincerity because I understand that someone has probably treated them poorly and with an entitled attitude. I want them to see my smile as a gift that communicates how much I value the work they do. I don’t take them for granted. Their service matters.

So for the sake of learning to cultivate a posture of gratitude, thank your flight attendant as you’re waking off the airplane, leave a tip for the person that serviced your hotel room, smile and express appreciation to the shop owner whose store you wandered through. It takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown. And a simple act of gratitude can transform someone’s day.

I have spent the greater part of my 50 years journaling. Mostly because it has been one of the best personal development tools; specifically in my personal battle with anxiety. In more recent years, I have focused my journaling on gratitude. It has transformed my life in so many ways. My personal challenge to you is to take a 21 Day Gratitude Challenge. Click the link and step into a new chapter of seeing life more through the filter of gratitude and not entitlement. And I would love to hear how gratitude has transformed your life and travels.